I just want to start this blog post by wishing everyone a belated happy Christmas and New Year. I hope you all had a great few days/weeks away from your work/uni/school over the Christmas holidays and if you’re like me, put on about 10 stone in Christmas dinner alone! I had a great time though, I was lucky enough to make it back home to Glasgow just in time for my birthday on the 18th. I even managed to stay at home for the following 3 weeks before having to come back up to Edinburgh again, but how can I complain when I spent my favourite time of year with those who mean the world to me?
As most people have noticed, I haven’t posted in a while, which is strange considering a blogger’s busiest time is the Christmas period where we churn out sponsored posts like there’s no tomorrow – and bring out £50 12-day advent calendars… I guess a lot has happened since – I’m now 25, I ate every carbohydrate in sight and I saw in a new year. Apart from that, not much has changed, Trump’s still an idiot, our Government is still as clueless over Brexit as ever, rainforests are still being cut down, the polar ice caps are still melting and innocent animals are still being hunted by posh people for a hobby.
Anyway, on a serious not a lot of things have happened in my personal life that has taken its toll on me and I feel I should address them here. Now, I am more sure than ever, that I need to step away from blogging and take a much-needed break from it. This is not down to one single thing but down to multiple reasons:
Death of A Friend
On the 6th of November, I woke up to the news one of my dear friends had passed away. She had been branded a “miracle” baby when she was born because she went on to defy the odds regardless of the various complications with her birth. She had been in and out of hospital for most of her life but that didn’t stop her living her life to the full.
However, since the start of Summer, she was in and out more frequently but I just viewed it as a sticky patch for her and she would eventually be fine in time. As I moved into my new apartment in Edinburgh in September, I never realised I wouldn’t see her again. The last time I spoke to her was 3 weeks before she passed away and we were making plans for my birthday. However, that was not to be and instead of spending my birthday in a club with her, I visited her grave.
It’s not easy to lose someone, especially someone so young who had their whole life ahead of them. Luckily, I’ve been busy since her passing so I’ve not really had time to think much about it all but when I visited her grave the reality set in. I need time to grieve and grieve properly.
4 months. That’s all. Just 4 little months. In 4 months, I will have graduated university and I will have a lovely shiny new degree which is fab. However, I’ve been doing a good with my studies but now I have a lengthy dissertation to complete and I want great marks. An extra day or 2 researching topics or editing reports may be the difference between me leaving with a good degree and a great one.
I hope I get a great one, cross your fingers for me!
Over the past year or so I’ve drifted from my blog, mainly due to other commitments such as university my blog postings have been somewhat erratic. Regular postings are out the window, I can post 3 times in one week and then not post at all for 3 weeks. I also feel the quality of my content isn’t as good as it has been of late. Simply writing articles for the sake of it and that’s not why I started doing this.
I want to take some time away and then come back with great content that I enjoy making and also for people to enjoy. I want my content to be fresh and original, with articles that give you more of an insight into me and my life and who I am as a person. I want people to come to my site and be able to have a giggle while also sharing my views on hot topics and spread messages of peace, love and equality.
A definite change is needed and if/when I come back everything from the site to the content will be vastly improved.
The loss of a friend, the demands of blogging and the stress of university put a real strain on my mental health. I’m usually okay, I get a little anxious at times but generally, my mental state is okay. However, towards the end of last year, I found myself becoming more irritable and becoming more of an introvert and generally less sociable, which is strange because I’m quite a sociable guy. When I got back to my mum’s home for Christmas, I just felt so relieved to be away from everything and I managed to catch up on so much sleep that I had missed and also eating proper food.
Fun Fact: If you spend a month living off Tesco £3 meal deals and then spend the following month having real meals like steak pie and vegetables etc you will get emotional and cry tears of joy.
I don’t want to let myself get to that place again, I didn’t let myself get to that really dark place but I could definitely see it on the horizon and that’s the worrying part. I feel blogging at the start was good for my mental health, it allowed me to be creative and share my opinions and generally just clear my mind. Now, it feels like a chore and it adds to my stress rather than relieves it – especially going through emails. I now look towards other things to de-stress such as reading, playing with my bass guitar and generally just walking and taking in some fresh air.
I need to go away, I need to get my head straight. The mental strain I’ve been under the past few months has been a lot to handle. Although I’ve handled it well, it’s not healthy and I can only keep it up for so long before I genuinely break. I used to love blogging but right now it feels like an added pressure, just another thing on my to-do list rather than a “want”. I used to wake up and be excited to write but now it’s fizzled out a little bit so maybe I just need a break from it.
The next couple of months at university will easily be the toughest from an academic perspective I will probably ever face and I really want to focus on that. This is what I have been working towards, putting major shifts in at the library so I can get a good degree and so I can ultimately get a good job in the creative industry and be able to make my mum even prouder of me and be able to give her everything she deserves.
I will be back in some shape or form, I don’t know how , I don’t know when and I don’t even know if I’ll be back on this domain or whether it’ll be under another name – maybe even my own. I don’t know, I need to figure these things out first. As I said earlier, I need to go away and get my degree, clear my head and take some time away from it. I’ll figure out whether I want to keep this blog or whether I want to start again from scratch.
However, I can’t completely avoid working on it, I’m a creative person so I’m already working on a few things with a completely new site design and new and original content for you guys. However, that is all they are right now, plans in a sketchbook, and that is how they’ll remain for a good while until the time that I feel ready to blog again and produce amazing stuff for you, my readers.
As I said, I don’t know whether I’ll ever be back on this domain but I’ll confirm my plans via Twitter when I do, so follow me here. In the meantime follow me on Instagram so you can see my endless boomerangs. Although I won’t be doing any blogging, I will continue to keep an eye on my emails for anything of interest such as events or even guesting on podcasts or simple collaborations on channels etc. Whatever I do now will be purely for my own pleasure, just because I’m not posting on here doesn’t mean I won’t pop up on podcasts discussing football or appearing naked on Channel 4 ( I honestly just got an email asking if I wanted to be on Naked Attraction – Thanks but I’d rather get rejected in private with clothes on.)
I just want to thank everyone who follows me and reads the things I put out. Even if you’ve read one post or all of them it all it honestly means a lot to me. It was never about being the biggest blogger or the coolest, simply started off as a place where I could go and post my opinions and feelings and I’m glad some of you enjoyed it or could relate or even both. Please, continue to send me your messages on social media as I do enjoy reading them and chatting with you.
Time for me to go now, cheery bye!
Lots & Lots of Love